The real name of "the" Bill Gates is William Henry Gates III. Nowadays he is known as Bill Gates (III), where "III" means the order of third (3rd.)
By converting the letters of his current name to the ASCII-values and adding his (III), you get the following:
B 66
I 73
L 76
L 76
G 71
A 65
T 84
E 69
S 83
+ 3
--------------
666 !!
Some might ask, "How did Bill Gates get so powerful?" Coincidence? Or just the beginning of mankind's ultimate and total enslavement
Before you decide, consider the following:
M S - D O S 6 . 2 1
77+83+45+68+79+83+32+54+46+50+49 = 666
W I N D O W S 9 5
87+73+78+68+79+87+83+57+53+1 = 666
Coincidence? You decide...
Monday, September 11, 2006
9/11 Terrorist Attack - Fact and Fiction
I got this from one of my friends in an email and thought it was pretty interesting......The Microsoft Word thing at the bottom is neat how that works out!!
Here's something for the conspiracy theorists to chew on (you know who you are!)
I don't , but this is a little eerie, and interesting...
> > Read to the bottom. Try it out. I did. I got goose bump
> > This is actually really freaky!! (mainly the end part, but read it all
> > first)
> > 1) New York City has 11 letters
> > 2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.
> > 3) Ramsin Yuseb (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in
> > 1993) has 11 letters.
> > 4) George W Bush has 11 letters.
> > This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets more interesting:
> > 1) New York is the 11th state.
> > 2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number 11.
> > 3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11
> > 4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers , was carrying 65
> > passengers. 6+5 = 11
> > 5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 + 1+ 1 =
> > 11
> > 6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911. 9 +
> > 1 + 1 = 11
> > Sheer coincidence. .?! Read on and make up your own mind:
> > 1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254. 2 +
> > 5 + 4 = 11.
> > 2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year. Again 2 + 5 + 4 =
> > 11.
> > 3) The Madridbombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.
> > 4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers incident.
> > Now this is where things get totally eerie:
> > The most recognized symbol for the US , after the Stars & Stripes, is the
> > Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Quran, the Islamic holy book:
> > "For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The
> > wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah while some
> > of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for the wrath of the
> > Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace."
> > That verse is number 9.11 of the Quran.
> > unconvinced about all of this Still .?!
> >
> > Try this and see how you feel afterwards, it made my hair stand on end:
> > Open Microsoft Word and do the following:
> > 1. Type in capitals Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first plane to
> > hit one of the Twin Towers .
> > *
> > 2. Highlight the Q33 NY.
> > 3. Change the font size to 48.
> > 4. Change the actual font to the WINGDINGS
> > What do you think now?!!
> > Send this to as many people as you know and in 11 minutes you will get a
> > nice surprise, if you don't you will get the shock of Your life in 11 min.
But not all the info in this letter are true! and the rest of them are only coincidence:
> > 3) Ramsin Yuseb (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in
> > 1993) has 11 letters.
That depend on how you right his name, translating it from arabic to english could take many forms.
> > 2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number 11.
Normal, they are numbered depending on the day of the flight, flight 11 goes on the 11th, as flight 12 goes on the 12th.
> > 3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11
nope Flight 11 carried 88 people.
> > 4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers , was carrying 65
> > passengers. 6+5 = 11
wrong again, flight 77 hit the pentagon and only carried 59 people
> > 1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254. 2 +
> > 5 + 4 = 11.
no no, it was 246 casualties on the 4 planes.
> > 3) The Madridbombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.
why not just calculate 3+1+1=5, why here take the year also!
> > 4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers incident.
Oh!! so close but its 912... lol
> > Now this is where things get totally eerie:
> > The most recognized symbol for the US , after the Stars & Stripes, is the
> > Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Quran, the Islamic holy book:
> > "For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The
> > wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah while some
> > of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for the wrath of the
> > Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace."
> > That verse is number 9.11 of the Quran.
> > unconvinced about all of this Still .?!
Yes go check the Quran, and read in the chapter 9 verse 11:
"But (even so), if they repent, establish regular prayers, and practise regular charity,- they are your brethren in Faith: (thus) do We explain the Signs in detail, for those who understand."
Nothing to do with eagles or arabian sons. and the text above exist no where in the Quran.
> > Try this and see how you feel afterwards, it made my hair stand on end:
> > Open Microsoft Word and do the following:
> > 1. Type in capitals Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first plane to
> > hit one of the Twin Towers .
NO sorry the flight registration was N334AA
The rest of the email, the calcualtion is only coincidence, as there are hundrands of names that were mentioned that day and only a bunch would give you the number 11 by calculating the sum.
By the way, that email is posted as hoax in most anti spam websites.
Here's something for the conspiracy theorists to chew on (you know who you are!)
I don't , but this is a little eerie, and interesting...
> > Read to the bottom. Try it out. I did. I got goose bump
> > This is actually really freaky!! (mainly the end part, but read it all
> > first)
> > 1) New York City has 11 letters
> > 2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.
> > 3) Ramsin Yuseb (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in
> > 1993) has 11 letters.
> > 4) George W Bush has 11 letters.
> > This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets more interesting:
> > 1) New York is the 11th state.
> > 2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number 11.
> > 3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11
> > 4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers , was carrying 65
> > passengers. 6+5 = 11
> > 5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 + 1+ 1 =
> > 11
> > 6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911. 9 +
> > 1 + 1 = 11
> > Sheer coincidence. .?! Read on and make up your own mind:
> > 1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254. 2 +
> > 5 + 4 = 11.
> > 2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year. Again 2 + 5 + 4 =
> > 11.
> > 3) The Madridbombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.
> > 4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers incident.
> > Now this is where things get totally eerie:
> > The most recognized symbol for the US , after the Stars & Stripes, is the
> > Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Quran, the Islamic holy book:
> > "For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The
> > wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah while some
> > of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for the wrath of the
> > Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace."
> > That verse is number 9.11 of the Quran.
> > unconvinced about all of this Still .?!
> >
> > Try this and see how you feel afterwards, it made my hair stand on end:
> > Open Microsoft Word and do the following:
> > 1. Type in capitals Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first plane to
> > hit one of the Twin Towers .
> > *
> > 2. Highlight the Q33 NY.
> > 3. Change the font size to 48.
> > 4. Change the actual font to the WINGDINGS
> > What do you think now?!!
> > Send this to as many people as you know and in 11 minutes you will get a
> > nice surprise, if you don't you will get the shock of Your life in 11 min.
But not all the info in this letter are true! and the rest of them are only coincidence:
> > 3) Ramsin Yuseb (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in
> > 1993) has 11 letters.
That depend on how you right his name, translating it from arabic to english could take many forms.
> > 2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number 11.
Normal, they are numbered depending on the day of the flight, flight 11 goes on the 11th, as flight 12 goes on the 12th.
> > 3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11
nope Flight 11 carried 88 people.
> > 4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers , was carrying 65
> > passengers. 6+5 = 11
wrong again, flight 77 hit the pentagon and only carried 59 people
> > 1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254. 2 +
> > 5 + 4 = 11.
no no, it was 246 casualties on the 4 planes.
> > 3) The Madridbombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.
why not just calculate 3+1+1=5, why here take the year also!
> > 4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers incident.
Oh!! so close but its 912... lol
> > Now this is where things get totally eerie:
> > The most recognized symbol for the US , after the Stars & Stripes, is the
> > Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Quran, the Islamic holy book:
> > "For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The
> > wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah while some
> > of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for the wrath of the
> > Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace."
> > That verse is number 9.11 of the Quran.
> > unconvinced about all of this Still .?!
Yes go check the Quran, and read in the chapter 9 verse 11:
"But (even so), if they repent, establish regular prayers, and practise regular charity,- they are your brethren in Faith: (thus) do We explain the Signs in detail, for those who understand."
Nothing to do with eagles or arabian sons. and the text above exist no where in the Quran.
> > Try this and see how you feel afterwards, it made my hair stand on end:
> > Open Microsoft Word and do the following:
> > 1. Type in capitals Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first plane to
> > hit one of the Twin Towers .
NO sorry the flight registration was N334AA
The rest of the email, the calcualtion is only coincidence, as there are hundrands of names that were mentioned that day and only a bunch would give you the number 11 by calculating the sum.
By the way, that email is posted as hoax in most anti spam websites.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Funny Flash Animation - Sweedish idol
This is a funny interpretation of O-zone romanian band in "Dragostea Din Tei" . Lyrics Quote:
"Dragostea Din Tei
Ma-ia hii
Ma-ia huu
Ma-ia hoo
Ma-ia haha (x4)
Alo, salut, sunt eu, un haiduc
si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea. Alo, alo, sunt eu, Picasso
ti-am dat beep si sunt voinic
Dar sa stii, nu-ti cer nimic.
Vrei sa pleci dar nu-mă, nu-mă iei
Nu-mă, nu-mă iei, nu-mă, nu-mă, nu-mă iei
Chipul tău si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tăi.
Vrei să pleci dar nu-mă, nu-mă iei
Nu-mă, nu-mă iei, nu-mă, nu-mă, nu-mă iei
Chipul tău si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tăi.
Te sun, să-ti spun, ce simt, acum
Alo, iubirea mea sunt eu, fericirea.
Alo, alo, sunt iarasi eu, Picasso
ti-am dat beep si sunt voinic
Dar să stii, nu-ti cer nimic.
Vrei să pleci dar nu-mă, nu-mă iei
Nu-mă, nu-mă iei, nu-mă, nu-mă, nu-mă iei
Chipul tău si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tăi.
Vrei să pleci dar nu-mă, nu-mă iei
Nu-mă, nu-mă iei, nu-mă, nu-mă, nu-mă iei
Chipul tău si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tăi.
Ma-ia hii
Ma-ia huu
Ma-ia hoo
Ma-ia haha (x4)
Vrei să pleci dar nu-mă, nu-mă iei
Nu-mă, nu-mă iei, nu-mă, nu-mă, nu-mă iei
Chipul tău si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tăi.
Vrei să pleci dar nu-mă, nu-mă iei
Nu-mă, nu-mă iei, nu-mă, nu-mă, nu-mă iei
Chipul tău si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tăi.
"
Look at him how he bends his arms . This is very funny.
Electronic Arts - New 2006 Games RPS 2006
Game: RPS 2006
Platform: Playstation 1 , PlayStation 2 , PlayStation 3, PSP
Type: Action , Sports
Release: 2006 by Electronic Arts (EA Sports)
Featuring Electronic Arts RPS 2006 for PlayStation 2
It is said that this game has a backward compatibility with PlayStation 1 and a special version for your PSP or PlayStation 3 will appear soon
Quote:
"E. A. Sports. It's in the game!"
Check out this newly released game from Electronic Arts. It's available for a free download everywhere :P however Electronic Arts is think about supplying a demo after three month to engage the large public to download this new exciting game.
It has been awarded as the most original game ideea from all the games so far lol.
Platform: Playstation 1 , PlayStation 2 , PlayStation 3, PSP
Type: Action , Sports
Release: 2006 by Electronic Arts (EA Sports)
Featuring Electronic Arts RPS 2006 for PlayStation 2
It is said that this game has a backward compatibility with PlayStation 1 and a special version for your PSP or PlayStation 3 will appear soon
Quote:
"E. A. Sports. It's in the game!"
Check out this newly released game from Electronic Arts. It's available for a free download everywhere :P however Electronic Arts is think about supplying a demo after three month to engage the large public to download this new exciting game.
It has been awarded as the most original game ideea from all the games so far lol.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Jokes - Naming your dog
Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Roy." I call mine "Sex." He's a great pal but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
When I went to the city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like one too." Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid."
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex.
He said, "You don't need a special room. As long as you pay your bill we don't care what you do." I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Funny--I have the same problem."
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He said, "Now that cable is all over the place it's no big deal anymore."
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "The courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case, please."
Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me, too."
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him that I was looking for Sex.
When I went to the city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like one too." Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid."
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex.
He said, "You don't need a special room. As long as you pay your bill we don't care what you do." I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Funny--I have the same problem."
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He said, "Now that cable is all over the place it's no big deal anymore."
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "The courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case, please."
Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me, too."
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him that I was looking for Sex.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Jokes - Mercedes convertible Speeding
A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Mercedes convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great," he thought as he roared down I-75.
He pushed the pedal to the metal even more. Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he tromped it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph, then 110, 120 mph! Then he thought, "What am I doing?
I'm too old for this kind of thing."
He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him.
The trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man.
"Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The man looked at the trooper and said, "Years ago my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper,
and I thought you were bringing her back."
The trooper replied, "Sir, have a nice day."
He pushed the pedal to the metal even more. Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he tromped it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph, then 110, 120 mph! Then he thought, "What am I doing?
I'm too old for this kind of thing."
He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him.
The trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man.
"Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The man looked at the trooper and said, "Years ago my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper,
and I thought you were bringing her back."
The trooper replied, "Sir, have a nice day."
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Jokes - Drink for free - Drunk advice to use hot dog
Two drunks were trying to figure out how to get some alcohol for free. They only had a dollar in change between them. "I've got it, follow me." said the first man.
They went to a hot dog stand and bought a dog and threw away the bun. "We'll go into a bar and order drinks, and when the bartender asks for money, I'll unzip my fly and pull out the hot dog. You drop to your knees and pretend to suck me off."
The second man agrees to this and they start their rounds.
When they get to the bar, they sit down and have a beer. The bartender tells them, "That will be three dollars."
The first man stands up and upzips his fly. The second man drops to his knees and starts sucking on the hot-dog.
"You faggots!" screams the bartender. "Get the hell out of here!"
They run out and go to another bar and order drinks and when the bartender asks for money, the first man unzips his fly, and the second man drops to his knees. The bartender throws them out.
After the sixth bar the second man complains, "Man this isn't working out so well, My knees are killing me!"
"You think you've had it bad," the first man exclaims. "I lost the hotdog four bars ago!"
They went to a hot dog stand and bought a dog and threw away the bun. "We'll go into a bar and order drinks, and when the bartender asks for money, I'll unzip my fly and pull out the hot dog. You drop to your knees and pretend to suck me off."
The second man agrees to this and they start their rounds.
When they get to the bar, they sit down and have a beer. The bartender tells them, "That will be three dollars."
The first man stands up and upzips his fly. The second man drops to his knees and starts sucking on the hot-dog.
"You faggots!" screams the bartender. "Get the hell out of here!"
They run out and go to another bar and order drinks and when the bartender asks for money, the first man unzips his fly, and the second man drops to his knees. The bartender throws them out.
After the sixth bar the second man complains, "Man this isn't working out so well, My knees are killing me!"
"You think you've had it bad," the first man exclaims. "I lost the hotdog four bars ago!"
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Funny Words of Wisdom - Bathroom Graffiti
Bathroom graffiti 1
Here I lie in stinky vapor, Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger, Or shall I be forced to use my finger.
bathroom graffiti 2
Here I sit What a caper I have to shit But I'm out of paper
bathroom graffiti 3
Here I sit Broken hearted Tried to shit But only farted
bathroom graffiti 4
You're lucky You had your chance I tried to fart, And shit my pants!
bathroom graffiti 5
I came here To shit and stink But all I do Is sit and think.
bathroom graffiti 6
Some come here to sit and think, Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls, And read the bullshit on the walls...
bathroom graffiti 7 (written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line, the Hillsboro Fire Department want's you.
bathroom graffiti 8 (written high upon the wall above a urinal)
Don't look up here, the joke's in your hand.
bathroom graffiti 9
Sign posted in a bathroom: We aim to please! You aim too! Please!
bathroom graffiti 10
Seen above a urinal: Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.
We don't piss in your ashtrays!
bathroom graffiti 11
Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine were these words:
"on't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber."
bathroom graffiti 12
On the inside of a toilet door: Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout
the entire performance.
bathroom graffiti 13
" 1.49 - All You Can Eat" (with an arrow pointing down into the toilet)
bathroom graffiti 14
A sign I saw at a swimming pool once: We don't swim in your toilet, so please
don't pee in our pool!
bathroom graffiti 15
Another sign seen at a swimming pool: Welcome to our ool. Notice there's no
P in it. Please keep it that way.
bathroom graffiti 16
My mother made me a whore. (to which someone else added) If I give her the
yarn, will she make me one too?
bathroom graffiti 17
Under a sign that said "Employees Must Wash Hands," someone scribbled:
I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself.
bathroom graffiti 18
In the men's room at a Burger King restaurant
: It takes the human body about 24 hours to turn good food into shit.
It only takes Burger King 10 minutes.
bathroom graffiti 19
Sign seen at a restaurant: The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...
please aim properly.
bathroom graffiti 20
Here I sit, I'm at a loss trying to shit out taco sauce. When it comes, I hope and
pray, I don't blow my *** away.
bathroom graffiti 21
Here's one seen above a urinal: look up look up [even higher on the wall] keep
looking up [on the ceiling] Quick! Look down! You're pissing on your shoes!
bathroom graffiti 22
One of the funniest I've seen was also the simplest: Fart loud if you love Jesus!
bathroom graffiti 23
While your sitting on the toilet you see written on the stall door: Congratulations!
You've won one free game of Toilet Tennis! Look Left. You look left and it reads:
Look Right You look right and it reads: Look Left...
bathroom graffiti 24
Everybody pisses on the floor. Be a hero and shit on the ceiling.
bathroom graffiti 25 (written above a urinal)
Why are you looking up here? Are you ashamed of it?
bathroom graffiti 26
Some people come here to take a shit, I come here to leave one.
bathroom graffiti 27
Don't look now! you're pissing on your neighbors foot.
Here I lie in stinky vapor, Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger, Or shall I be forced to use my finger.
bathroom graffiti 2
Here I sit What a caper I have to shit But I'm out of paper
bathroom graffiti 3
Here I sit Broken hearted Tried to shit But only farted
bathroom graffiti 4
You're lucky You had your chance I tried to fart, And shit my pants!
bathroom graffiti 5
I came here To shit and stink But all I do Is sit and think.
bathroom graffiti 6
Some come here to sit and think, Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls, And read the bullshit on the walls...
bathroom graffiti 7 (written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line, the Hillsboro Fire Department want's you.
bathroom graffiti 8 (written high upon the wall above a urinal)
Don't look up here, the joke's in your hand.
bathroom graffiti 9
Sign posted in a bathroom: We aim to please! You aim too! Please!
bathroom graffiti 10
Seen above a urinal: Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.
We don't piss in your ashtrays!
bathroom graffiti 11
Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine were these words:
"on't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber."
bathroom graffiti 12
On the inside of a toilet door: Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout
the entire performance.
bathroom graffiti 13
" 1.49 - All You Can Eat" (with an arrow pointing down into the toilet)
bathroom graffiti 14
A sign I saw at a swimming pool once: We don't swim in your toilet, so please
don't pee in our pool!
bathroom graffiti 15
Another sign seen at a swimming pool: Welcome to our ool. Notice there's no
P in it. Please keep it that way.
bathroom graffiti 16
My mother made me a whore. (to which someone else added) If I give her the
yarn, will she make me one too?
bathroom graffiti 17
Under a sign that said "Employees Must Wash Hands," someone scribbled:
I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself.
bathroom graffiti 18
In the men's room at a Burger King restaurant
: It takes the human body about 24 hours to turn good food into shit.
It only takes Burger King 10 minutes.
bathroom graffiti 19
Sign seen at a restaurant: The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...
please aim properly.
bathroom graffiti 20
Here I sit, I'm at a loss trying to shit out taco sauce. When it comes, I hope and
pray, I don't blow my *** away.
bathroom graffiti 21
Here's one seen above a urinal: look up look up [even higher on the wall] keep
looking up [on the ceiling] Quick! Look down! You're pissing on your shoes!
bathroom graffiti 22
One of the funniest I've seen was also the simplest: Fart loud if you love Jesus!
bathroom graffiti 23
While your sitting on the toilet you see written on the stall door: Congratulations!
You've won one free game of Toilet Tennis! Look Left. You look left and it reads:
Look Right You look right and it reads: Look Left...
bathroom graffiti 24
Everybody pisses on the floor. Be a hero and shit on the ceiling.
bathroom graffiti 25 (written above a urinal)
Why are you looking up here? Are you ashamed of it?
bathroom graffiti 26
Some people come here to take a shit, I come here to leave one.
bathroom graffiti 27
Don't look now! you're pissing on your neighbors foot.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Funny confrontation - Doctors vs Engineers in train trip
7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai.
So they all gather at Pune Station.
Both groups are desperately trying* to prove their superiority.
SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI) :
---------------------------------------
7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7 tickets..
Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come......
When TC arrives, All 7 Engineers get in one toilet So when TC knocks , one hand come out with the ticket and the TC goes away....
*
NOW on return Journey All of them don't get a direct train to PUNE. So they all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, from there they can easily get a LOCAL to PUNE
*
SCENE 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA) :
---------------------------------------------
Doctors decided, "this time we will prove that we too are equal"....All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket Engineers don't buy any ticket at all!!!!!..
TC arrives....
ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE ONE..
One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet, One hand comes with the tickets, he takes the ticket and comes in engg. Bathroom...
TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the toilet and they are heavily fined
*
SCENE 3 ( LONAVALA) :
-----------------------------------------
SO now both the group r on LONAVALA station. Doctors planning their move for last chance, they board the local to Pune.
This time doctors decide that they will play the same(1 ticket) trick.
ALL Doctors take 1 tickets...Engineers BUY all 7 tickets this time...
SO TC Comes.. All Engineers showed their tickets.....
Doctors are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL train...........
Conclusion: Technically intelligent people are geniuses, don't mess with Engineers.
So they all gather at Pune Station.
Both groups are desperately trying* to prove their superiority.
SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI) :
---------------------------------------
7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7 tickets..
Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come......
When TC arrives, All 7 Engineers get in one toilet So when TC knocks , one hand come out with the ticket and the TC goes away....
*
NOW on return Journey All of them don't get a direct train to PUNE. So they all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, from there they can easily get a LOCAL to PUNE
*
SCENE 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA) :
---------------------------------------------
Doctors decided, "this time we will prove that we too are equal"....All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket Engineers don't buy any ticket at all!!!!!..
TC arrives....
ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE ONE..
One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet, One hand comes with the tickets, he takes the ticket and comes in engg. Bathroom...
TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the toilet and they are heavily fined
*
SCENE 3 ( LONAVALA) :
-----------------------------------------
SO now both the group r on LONAVALA station. Doctors planning their move for last chance, they board the local to Pune.
This time doctors decide that they will play the same(1 ticket) trick.
ALL Doctors take 1 tickets...Engineers BUY all 7 tickets this time...
SO TC Comes.. All Engineers showed their tickets.....
Doctors are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL train...........
Conclusion: Technically intelligent people are geniuses, don't mess with Engineers.
Funny Animation - McDonalds teens making a hamburger
Did you ever wonder how the meat roll is turned into that burger that you probably buy from McDonalds. Now this is how they do it. No wonder so many people like it and as many hate them.
That is why McDonalds seeks teens in the first place :P
That is why McDonalds seeks teens in the first place :P
Jokes - Fell in love with my sexy teacher
Michael fell in love with his sexy teacher so one day at the school class he asks her to marry him.
The sexy teacher responds that she needs a man to satisfy her needs as a women not a child.
Michael looks with a happy smile to the sexy teacher and calmly responds :
-Don't worry , first time I will use a rubber !
The sexy teacher responds that she needs a man to satisfy her needs as a women not a child.
Michael looks with a happy smile to the sexy teacher and calmly responds :
-Don't worry , first time I will use a rubber !
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Jokes - Men comming home late from the bar
There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late. One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late.
"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."
One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late.
"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.
"I was was, but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight, 'cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom."
"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."
One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late.
"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.
"I was was, but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight, 'cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom."
Jokes - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder
AAADD
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
I realize the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some paper towels and wipe up the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
the driveway is flooded,
the car isn't washed,
the bills aren't paid,
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
there is still only one check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
I realize the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some paper towels and wipe up the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
the driveway is flooded,
the car isn't washed,
the bills aren't paid,
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
there is still only one check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.
Funny - Wonderful definitions of designations at office
Wonderful definitions of designations at office .
1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in
One month.
2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to
Produce a baby.
And lastly.................
9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby
1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in
One month.
2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to
Produce a baby.
And lastly.................
9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby
Jokes - Air Deccan
Air Deccan (Joke)
Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board of Air Deccan.
We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and partly due to the search for a missing tyre.
This is flight 717 to Mumbai. Landing there is not guaranteed, but we will End up somewhere in India. And, if luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village!
Air Deccan has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety standards are so high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us! It is with pleasure; I announce that, starting this year, over 30% of our Passengers have reached their destination.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off. To make your free fall to earth pleasant and m emorable, we serve Complimentary DHARU (Alcohol) and Wada pavw (Indian dish). For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. However, for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Kingfisher Airline, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the Cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible. For the best view, if however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly Fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase.
Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board of Air Deccan.
We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and partly due to the search for a missing tyre.
This is flight 717 to Mumbai. Landing there is not guaranteed, but we will End up somewhere in India. And, if luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village!
Air Deccan has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety standards are so high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us! It is with pleasure; I announce that, starting this year, over 30% of our Passengers have reached their destination.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off. To make your free fall to earth pleasant and m emorable, we serve Complimentary DHARU (Alcohol) and Wada pavw (Indian dish). For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. However, for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Kingfisher Airline, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the Cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible. For the best view, if however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly Fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Jokes - Got a light?
There were 3 men and they all died in a car crash and went to hell. When they got there the devil asked them all in turn a question.
To he first he said "what was your biggest sin on earth?" and the man replied "Oh man I just love alchol and being drunk man" so the devil showed the man to a room full of alchol of every type and description and he put the man inside and said "see you in 100 years" and locked the door.
To the second man he asked the same question and the man replied "oh man I just love to have sex with the ladies, I was really unfaithful to my wife man". So the devil took the man and showed him to a room full of hundreds upon thousands of georgeous and beautiful naked women. The man ran inside and the devil said "see you in 100 years" and locked the door.
The third man's answer to the question was "oh man I just LOVE weed! Im high all the time man and I can't live without it!". The devil showed the man to a room packed with the most amazing grade-A bud you've ever seen, stacked to the roof! The man went inside and the devil locked the door after saying "see you in 100 years".
100 years later the devil came by to let the three men out. He opened the door to the first man's room and found the man collapsed on the ground, passed out with empty bottles laying around him and puke all over him. He was a mess.
The devil opened the 2nd man's door and the man came running out of the room and cried "IM GAY! IM GAY!". Finally the devil came to the third man's room and opened the door. Sitting in the middle of all the bud, in the exact same position the devil had left him in was the man. He looked up at the devil and with a single tear rolling down his cheek he asked : "hey man, got a light?"
To he first he said "what was your biggest sin on earth?" and the man replied "Oh man I just love alchol and being drunk man" so the devil showed the man to a room full of alchol of every type and description and he put the man inside and said "see you in 100 years" and locked the door.
To the second man he asked the same question and the man replied "oh man I just love to have sex with the ladies, I was really unfaithful to my wife man". So the devil took the man and showed him to a room full of hundreds upon thousands of georgeous and beautiful naked women. The man ran inside and the devil said "see you in 100 years" and locked the door.
The third man's answer to the question was "oh man I just LOVE weed! Im high all the time man and I can't live without it!". The devil showed the man to a room packed with the most amazing grade-A bud you've ever seen, stacked to the roof! The man went inside and the devil locked the door after saying "see you in 100 years".
100 years later the devil came by to let the three men out. He opened the door to the first man's room and found the man collapsed on the ground, passed out with empty bottles laying around him and puke all over him. He was a mess.
The devil opened the 2nd man's door and the man came running out of the room and cried "IM GAY! IM GAY!". Finally the devil came to the third man's room and opened the door. Sitting in the middle of all the bud, in the exact same position the devil had left him in was the man. He looked up at the devil and with a single tear rolling down his cheek he asked : "hey man, got a light?"
Friday, September 01, 2006
Funny Reality - Too Much Starcraft
This is something interesting I found while browsing, if you play Starcraft you'll get it ;)
You know you play too much StarCraft when...
· You call your house your "Nexus."
· You play basketball and ask your friends if the game is melee or UMS.
· You are poor and you tell your dad to harvest more minerals.
· You realize that you're broke and ask your parents to borrow some minerals.
· You decide to blow yourself up as a suicide bomber and shout "here's for the Swarm!"
· You inject steroids into your arm on the way home to get there faster.
· You pretend that a box is an SCV and you sit in it and pick your nose.
· You send siblings out to scout neighbors' yards.
· Your solution for Iraq is "Battlecruisers. Mass Battlecruisers."
· Your only fear when massing Battlecruisers against Iraq is that they may have cloaked Wraiths waiting.
· You sit in a traffic jam and wonder if your car has a Siege mode.
· Laser pointers are now weapons of mass destruction - avoid them at all costs.
· The Bunsen burner in chemistry looks deliciously inviting as a splash damage weapon.
· You poke people repeatedly. Maybe they'll say something funny.
· You complain about the inefficiency of our military. Even on slow days, it only took you half an hour to amass a fleet and annihilate your opponent.
· You don't believe in the concept of overpopulation. Why not just build more supply depots?
· Missile turrets are a crucial part to any home security system. Bunkers too. Hell, a few Siege Tanks here and there wouldn't hurt.
· You call your school bully a Dragoon.
· You start calling rich people "n00bs" and tell them to play on real maps.
· You walk by a construction site and wonder why they just don't warp everything in.
· You think strategically placing Arbiters around your town/city so they can recall people wherever they want is a really good idea.
· You mistake your grandmother for an Infested Kerrigan.
· You mistake Democrats for UED leaders.
· You think babies come from Gateways.
· Your friend is a Hydralisk. No matter what anyone else says, he's a Hydralisk.
· You tell people to go somewhere and you start repeatedly "clicking" your finger.
· You try to Optical Flare your dog.
· You answer the phone with "You want a piece of me boy?!"
· You know everyone on Battle.net. Everyone on Battle.net knows you.
· You give people your Battle.net username instead of your phone number.
· You go by your Battle.net alias.
· You know, by heart, how many hits it will take a marine to destroy a Battlecrusier.
· You can beat every Terran campaign mission with 4 marines and an SCV.
· You went as a Zealot for Halloween.
· You use the wall in your room as a board for designing new strategies.
· You can draw any custom map someone tells you to draw.
· You have been to every single StarCraft site searching for the best possible strategy.
· You have a small shrine dedicated to your SC CD case.
· You change religions. You are now part of the Khalai.
· You name your son Fenix.
· You have a meeting every week with your friends so you can come up with new strategies.
· The doctor injects the flu shot into you, you sigh relaxingly and say "ah, that's the stuff."
· You force your mom to call the school bus a "Shuttle"
· You see your friend in a fight and you shout "We must join our bretheren in battle!"
· You worry about walking through narrow places because there might be burrowed lurkers.
· You're sleeping with your girl and accidently scream "Kerrigan" instead of her name.
· You cry yourself to sleep because your SC CD is missing.
· You actually understand all of the above jokes.
You know you play too much StarCraft when...
· You call your house your "Nexus."
· You play basketball and ask your friends if the game is melee or UMS.
· You are poor and you tell your dad to harvest more minerals.
· You realize that you're broke and ask your parents to borrow some minerals.
· You decide to blow yourself up as a suicide bomber and shout "here's for the Swarm!"
· You inject steroids into your arm on the way home to get there faster.
· You pretend that a box is an SCV and you sit in it and pick your nose.
· You send siblings out to scout neighbors' yards.
· Your solution for Iraq is "Battlecruisers. Mass Battlecruisers."
· Your only fear when massing Battlecruisers against Iraq is that they may have cloaked Wraiths waiting.
· You sit in a traffic jam and wonder if your car has a Siege mode.
· Laser pointers are now weapons of mass destruction - avoid them at all costs.
· The Bunsen burner in chemistry looks deliciously inviting as a splash damage weapon.
· You poke people repeatedly. Maybe they'll say something funny.
· You complain about the inefficiency of our military. Even on slow days, it only took you half an hour to amass a fleet and annihilate your opponent.
· You don't believe in the concept of overpopulation. Why not just build more supply depots?
· Missile turrets are a crucial part to any home security system. Bunkers too. Hell, a few Siege Tanks here and there wouldn't hurt.
· You call your school bully a Dragoon.
· You start calling rich people "n00bs" and tell them to play on real maps.
· You walk by a construction site and wonder why they just don't warp everything in.
· You think strategically placing Arbiters around your town/city so they can recall people wherever they want is a really good idea.
· You mistake your grandmother for an Infested Kerrigan.
· You mistake Democrats for UED leaders.
· You think babies come from Gateways.
· Your friend is a Hydralisk. No matter what anyone else says, he's a Hydralisk.
· You tell people to go somewhere and you start repeatedly "clicking" your finger.
· You try to Optical Flare your dog.
· You answer the phone with "You want a piece of me boy?!"
· You know everyone on Battle.net. Everyone on Battle.net knows you.
· You give people your Battle.net username instead of your phone number.
· You go by your Battle.net alias.
· You know, by heart, how many hits it will take a marine to destroy a Battlecrusier.
· You can beat every Terran campaign mission with 4 marines and an SCV.
· You went as a Zealot for Halloween.
· You use the wall in your room as a board for designing new strategies.
· You can draw any custom map someone tells you to draw.
· You have been to every single StarCraft site searching for the best possible strategy.
· You have a small shrine dedicated to your SC CD case.
· You change religions. You are now part of the Khalai.
· You name your son Fenix.
· You have a meeting every week with your friends so you can come up with new strategies.
· The doctor injects the flu shot into you, you sigh relaxingly and say "ah, that's the stuff."
· You force your mom to call the school bus a "Shuttle"
· You see your friend in a fight and you shout "We must join our bretheren in battle!"
· You worry about walking through narrow places because there might be burrowed lurkers.
· You're sleeping with your girl and accidently scream "Kerrigan" instead of her name.
· You cry yourself to sleep because your SC CD is missing.
· You actually understand all of the above jokes.
Funny Picture - Love at first sight
Can anybody explain what love at first sight is ?
I know that is tough to define.
An exact picture is given below.
Now without definition you can understand.
Please scroll down
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I know that is tough to define.
An exact picture is given below.
Now without definition you can understand.
Please scroll down
...........scroll down..........
..........scroll down..........
..........scroll down..........
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Funny Story - CIA test
Three guys are applying for job with the CIA. They got all the way to the final test.
So the first guy walks into the directors office and sits down. The director reaches in his desk and pulls out a pistol. Lays it on his desk in front of the guy. Tells him, "This test is to test your loyalty. Take this gun and go up the stairs and go into the first room on your right. Your wife will be in there. Put a bullet in her head." The guy looks at him and says,"no way." So the director says, "You fail."
The next guy comes in. The director tells him the same thing. Guy picks up the gun and head for the room. Comes back about 15 minutes later. Tells the director that he just couldn`t go through with it. The director says, "you fail."
So now the third guy comes in, same scene. Guy heads up to the room. The director hears 3 shots, followed by a whole lot of ruckus (glass breaking, furniture getting smashed). Guy comes back in all beat up and his clothes tore up. The director goes, "What happened to you?" Guy replies, "After three shots I realized that there were blanks in the gun so I had to choke her to death."
So the first guy walks into the directors office and sits down. The director reaches in his desk and pulls out a pistol. Lays it on his desk in front of the guy. Tells him, "This test is to test your loyalty. Take this gun and go up the stairs and go into the first room on your right. Your wife will be in there. Put a bullet in her head." The guy looks at him and says,"no way." So the director says, "You fail."
The next guy comes in. The director tells him the same thing. Guy picks up the gun and head for the room. Comes back about 15 minutes later. Tells the director that he just couldn`t go through with it. The director says, "you fail."
So now the third guy comes in, same scene. Guy heads up to the room. The director hears 3 shots, followed by a whole lot of ruckus (glass breaking, furniture getting smashed). Guy comes back in all beat up and his clothes tore up. The director goes, "What happened to you?" Guy replies, "After three shots I realized that there were blanks in the gun so I had to choke her to death."
Jokes - Johnny was late in class
Johnny was late in class
Once Johnny was late in class, so the teacher attending the class asked him "You know the importance of periods ?"
Little Johnny replied "Ya, once my sister said she missed one, my mother fainted, father had a heart-attack, and our neighbour committed suicide"
Once Johnny was late in class, so the teacher attending the class asked him "You know the importance of periods ?"
Little Johnny replied "Ya, once my sister said she missed one, my mother fainted, father had a heart-attack, and our neighbour committed suicide"
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