Humor Jokes

Humor Section: Find new jokes and funny stuff. Add your own or comment on existing ones.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Funny looking costume

Here is a funny costume idea for kids that you can make at home. You'll get a funny looking kid in a can full of worms , you're prone to start some laughs as this costume won first and Grand Prize at a Halloween funny costume contest.

A funny looking costume for kids
(cool funny costume for your kid)

Breathalyzer funny looking costume for men is an ideal solution to entertain your friends at a party. It's just funny , see for your self the picture below.

Funny looking men costume idea , a costume party can't miss this funny costume

(funny costume idea for parties)

And for the Ladies the Kissing Booth funny costume , that I bet it's a lot of fun at parties.
Check this photo:

for the ladies a funny costume that says I'm available yet not , in your face, it can be fun

(a lady costume that is funny looking and fun)

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Funny Beach Sign

You would expect an "only nude people allowed" sign but on this nudist beach you will see a different sign. :P

nudist beach

Funny things kids say about our ocean

Children writing about the sea.....

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
(Kelly age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls.
(James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island .
If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent.
( Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson. She's not my friend no more.
(Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breathes through an arsehole on the top of its head.
(Billy age 8)

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.
(Millie age 6)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the
ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle
to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating
(William age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails.
How do mermaids get pregnant?
(Helen age 6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always
screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big
sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.
(Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can
give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think
they have to plug themselves into chargers.
(Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my
willy small.
(Kevin age 6)

12) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was
going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up
her fanny.
(Julie age 7)

13) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers
can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.
(Becky age 8) :P

Funny Video - Extreme Surfing

Good Girl , Bad Girl Humor

Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"...
Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?"

Good girls never go after another girl's man...
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.

Good girls wear white cotton panties...
Bad girls don't wear any.

Good girls wax their floors...
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.

Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot...
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.

Good girls make chicken for dinner...
Bad girls make reservations.

Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies...
Bad girls know they could do better.

Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss...
Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich.

Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls...
Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.

Good girls love Italian food...
Bad girls love Italian waiters.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Christian Humor - Jesus vs the devil

Jesus and Satan were having an argument as to who was the better programmer. This went on for days until they agreed to hold a contest with God as the judge. They sat at their computers and began.

They typed furiously for several hours, lines of code streaming up on the screen. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning struck, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power was restored, and God announced that the contest was over. He asked Satan to show what he had come up with. Satan was visibly upset, and cried, "I have nothing! I lost it all when the power went out."

"Very well, then," God said, "Let us see if Jesus did any better."

Jesus entered a command, and the screen came to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir poured forth from the speakers. Satan was astonished. He stuttered, "But how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?"

God chuckled, "Jesus saves"


There are loads of Shirts, that say, JESUS SAVES, meant is JESUS saves your life.

Enjoy the joke.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Funny Humor - Lawyers

The scene is the darkest jungle in Africa. Two tigers are stalking through the jungle when the one in the rear suddenly reaches out with his tongue and licks the butt of the one in front. The lead tiger turns and says, "Hey, cut it out, alright." The other tiger says sorry and they continue on their way.

After about five minutes the rear tiger suddenly repeats his action. The front tiger turns angrily and says," I said don't do that again!" The rear tiger says "sorry" again and they continue.

After about another five minutes, the rear tiger repeats his action. The front tiger turns and says, "What is it with you, anyway? I said to stop." The rear tiger says, "I really am sorry but I just ate a lawyer and I'm just trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

Funny Humor

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