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Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Funny Words of Wisdom - Bathroom Graffiti

Bathroom graffiti 1
Here I lie in stinky vapor, Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger, Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

bathroom graffiti 2
Here I sit What a caper I have to shit But I'm out of paper

bathroom graffiti 3
Here I sit Broken hearted Tried to shit But only farted

bathroom graffiti 4
You're lucky You had your chance I tried to fart, And shit my pants!

bathroom graffiti 5
I came here To shit and stink But all I do Is sit and think.

bathroom graffiti 6
Some come here to sit and think, Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls, And read the bullshit on the walls...

bathroom graffiti 7 (written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line, the Hillsboro Fire Department want's you.

bathroom graffiti 8 (written high upon the wall above a urinal)
Don't look up here, the joke's in your hand.

bathroom graffiti 9
Sign posted in a bathroom: We aim to please! You aim too! Please!

bathroom graffiti 10
Seen above a urinal: Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.
We don't piss in your ashtrays!

bathroom graffiti 11
Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine were these words:
&quoton't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber."

bathroom graffiti 12
On the inside of a toilet door: Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout
the entire performance.

bathroom graffiti 13
" 1.49 - All You Can Eat" (with an arrow pointing down into the toilet)

bathroom graffiti 14
A sign I saw at a swimming pool once: We don't swim in your toilet, so please
don't pee in our pool!

bathroom graffiti 15
Another sign seen at a swimming pool: Welcome to our ool. Notice there's no
P in it. Please keep it that way.

bathroom graffiti 16
My mother made me a whore. (to which someone else added) If I give her the
yarn, will she make me one too?

bathroom graffiti 17
Under a sign that said "Employees Must Wash Hands," someone scribbled:
I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself.

bathroom graffiti 18
In the men's room at a Burger King restaurant
: It takes the human body about 24 hours to turn good food into shit.
It only takes Burger King 10 minutes.

bathroom graffiti 19
Sign seen at a restaurant: The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...
please aim properly.

bathroom graffiti 20
Here I sit, I'm at a loss trying to shit out taco sauce. When it comes, I hope and
pray, I don't blow my *** away.

bathroom graffiti 21
Here's one seen above a urinal: look up look up [even higher on the wall] keep
looking up [on the ceiling] Quick! Look down! You're pissing on your shoes!

bathroom graffiti 22
One of the funniest I've seen was also the simplest: Fart loud if you love Jesus!

bathroom graffiti 23
While your sitting on the toilet you see written on the stall door: Congratulations!
You've won one free game of Toilet Tennis! Look Left. You look left and it reads:
Look Right You look right and it reads: Look Left...

bathroom graffiti 24
Everybody pisses on the floor. Be a hero and shit on the ceiling.

bathroom graffiti 25 (written above a urinal)
Why are you looking up here? Are you ashamed of it?

bathroom graffiti 26
Some people come here to take a shit, I come here to leave one.

bathroom graffiti 27
Don't look now! you're pissing on your neighbors foot.

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